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SWINE
MANUFACTURING & WORLD DOMINATION ...HISTORY, HOW
WE SEE IT
Well
Shit! I don't know exactly where to start or
where it all went wrong... Let's just start
at the begining, I suppose. There's just so much history
behind the scenes of SWINE MANUFACTURING &
WORLD DOMINATION that it's just hard to wrap my
arms around it all. Hell, much of it I couldn't even
assume to rememeber, given the mass quantities of
beer consumed, bones broken, jail time served, and
women insulted.
A
lot of what has transpired over the history of SWINE
MANUFACTURING & WORLD DOMINATION has been
somewhat chaotic and disoriented. In fact I'd have
to say that a great deal of it should not be printed
here due to the probable pornographic and/or criminal
overtones and/or situations, but please take a few
minutes to discover some previously "untold" highlights
of our dubious history.*
Going
back any further than this would just be unhealthly.
We'll start here...
1992
Inland Surf & Sport opens! Myself and a couple
other over zealous and greedy friends open a surf/skate
shop approximately 135,207 miles from the nearest
ocean. Surprisingly, things do not go well.
1992,
During one final, yet memorable and desperate plea
for attention we:
-
import
500 yards of white sand and dump it in the parking
lot,
-
invite
three local radio stations,
-
call
EVERY hot chick within a 50 mile radius,
-
purchase
17 kegs of beer,
-
hire
4 local garage bands including my favorite "Vicious
Fishes,"
-
give
away remaining bikini's and wet t-shirts to
the most bestest, beautiful, hot chicks in attendance,
(HEY!!! Whores are people too!)
-
proceed
to throw that biggest, loudest, most obnoxious
beach party EVER so far away from an actual
ocean.
-
Amazingly,
we all got arrested on a variety of counts ranging
from public drunkeness to / and including distruction
of county property. Hard to imagine but after
all that our landlords voided our lease. Weird.
1993
Still stunned by the lack of surfer clones
so far inland, Inland Surf & Sport closes it's doors.
Beers consumed while "working": 2 many to count.
Hot chicks met and / or offended: 1,157.5. Lessons
learned: None.
1994
In a weak, feeble effort to win back the attention
of the bikini clad girls, "Swine" is born. It works!
Never before has there been a more appropriate
or more true branding. Initially the only product
that "Swine" manufactures is weightlifting gloves,
made out of, well, PIG leather. A new industry phenomena
is discovered... fitness girls! Cheers to you Marla
Duncan!
1995
Another industry phenomena is discovered... NO hip,
reasonable, or functional clothing exist on the entire
friggin' planet that exudes an attitude that would
be considered proper, aggressive attire in the gym!
Bright colors and spandex EVERYwhere! (note* to this
day, I still see people wearing this shit in the gym)
1996
In a drunken frenzy, the name "Swine" is expanded
and trademarked as... "Swine Manufacturing & World
Domination." One new t-shirt logo is presented
to the "underground" world. Hardcore bodybuilding
and powerlifting freaks rejoice.
1997
"Swine" discovers amazing thing called the internet.
Maybe you've heard of it?
1998
After imitating one of the Three Stooges in a failed
bench press attempt, I injure my left wrist. Why would
you care? Because of this stupid act induced by trying
to impress one of the previously mentioned fitness
girls, I was forced to create some sort of "support."
You see... there were none in existence at the time.
If I wanted to lift, (and I did) I needed support
for my wrist. This brought about the creation of the
rather simple, yet genius wrist support design that
has since become legendary!
1999
Wrist support product explodes onto the previously
mentioned internet thingy. "Swine" clones once again
rejoice!
2000
Entering the new century, incredible growth continues!
No longer just an "underground" cult following. Distribution
outlets created in Europe, Canada, and even China.
The internet thingy is a real boost!
2001
No longer a side project or hobby. Full attention
is deserved but not given to "Swine." Demand is huge!
Supply is not as impressive. Appears to be time to
"grow up." Potential of "Swine" in the "extreme" sports
industry is realized.
2002
To date, no dollars spent on advertising... ALL attention
due to simple "word of mouth" trick. "Swine" expands
into the extreme sports arena. Closed fist, combat
fighting, and freestyle motocross added to Swine propaganda
list entitled "things to do that seemed like a good
idea at the time."
2003
In a pathetic attempt to absolutely "control"
every aspect concering our little Swine Empire and
the amazing growth achieved... ALL is virtually lost
forever.
2004
Somehow managed to save Swine from calapsing into
obscurity. Many old friends and followers stand firm
and show their support. Swine is reborn... yet again...
and again flurishes as a sort of underground cult
phenomena. By the end of 2004 great things are once
again expected and opportunities come knockin'.
2005
Still with a loyal following Swine continues to grow.
That whole "world domination" thing is starting
to take shape... stay tuned.
2006
- 2007 Tooo busy to update this page...
Editor's
note* What "Swine Manufacturing & World Domination"
means... at least to us. It represents a philosophy
of life that is direct, bold, and honest. It stands
for fearlessness and a willingness to take chances.
It represents doing what it takes to get the job done.
It means wasting little time on fools or foolish things
that want to keep you from your goals. It means treating
people the way you want to be treated. Above all,
it represents doing what you feel is best and not
worrying about who you're going to piss off.
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